These are blog posts from 2013, when I started this blog, until mid-August 2022, when I started this website.
lost & trying for found
September 21, 2023
We don’t get do-overs in life. We wake up and, boom, there we are. The past is the past, and now is now. No wonder I feel as discombobulated as I do at times. Mindfulness at least lets me know: You are here, and it is now.
brain tired
June 7, 2023
My brain doesn’t hate me. It’s not trying to ruin my life. It was just built wrong. Here’s one example of how broken it is. Yesterday, Apple announced their new Vision Pro VR headset. It’s a cool tech and very pricey – like the original Mac. The first podcast I listened to about it said, […]
grrrrrr
September 1, 2022
As a kid, my anxiety led to anger, and I had no way to deal with it. Instead, a habit of anger developed and grew deep roots. This is not something I want to continue; it’s a sucky way to live.
disevolving
August 31, 2022
My anxiety learned far too well from human evolution. This is where the great value of mental health care and mindfulness practice is seen for me.
warning signs
August 30, 2022
The greatest threat to my daily mental healthiness has always been falling prey to whatever my emotions or thoughs were. Depression had no trouble taking over when I was clueless about the warning signs. This is no longer the case.
calm the eff down
August 27, 2022
I love sports – football/soccer, baseball, cricket, running – but being a fan can be hard on my mental health. Anger, frustration, disappointment and just the occasional championship; it’s hard to maintain equanimity in this way.
fortunate
August 26, 2022
Like most of the world, I was ignorant of my mental health challenges for most of my life. That changed thanks to the VA, and I have been left with an important realization about my life.
forward
April 27, 2022
I felt a lightness inside yesterday that had nothing to do with getting up early to go to work for the sixth time in seven days. I didn’t even realize I was feeling this way until I got to the MAX statIon and was waiting for my train. I was puzzled. I felt happy, a […]
validation
April 25, 2022
Blame isn’t worth a lot, but there is a place I can start with blaming others and know it’s true: as a child, a toddler. After all, at that age, I was in the care of other people who had almost total influence on whether or not I would begin my life on a road […]
i’ve always hated normal
March 20, 2022
The title of this post pretty much sums up my life. Well, it would if I’d been able to live my life both non-normally and productively. Given that I’ve been unable to do with my life what I’d have like to have done with my life, I can’t say I’ve lived normally or otherwise. I’ve […]
small steps
February 19, 2022
I don’t have the time to finish and publish this this morning. I don’t even have a point to make except the most important one in my life at this point of my life: Do what I can, right now, to live my values. To that end, I am writing this post in the last […]
tired
January 28, 2022
A number of thoughts went through my head during my mindfulness practice this morning. One of them was “No, you are not a bad person just because thoughts are going through your head when your intention is to pay attention to your breathing and not your thoughts”. This, of course, is the nature of a […]
resolutions are junk
January 5, 2022
Resolutions are a useless way to fix your life. The reason they fail so utterly for most people is that they are nothing more than a goal, and the most a goal can be is a step towards fixing your life. People make resolutions like “Lose weight” or “Go the gym more” or “Read a […]
first post
November 17, 2014
My friend Kriste calls me "bucko". I forget why. But you know how certain nicknames sound just right when said by certain people? Kriste's "bucko" sounds just right. And given the role of Kriste in my life – something between goddess and Ultimate Hero of the Universe – it's appropriate this blog have its roots […]