lost & trying for found

a person standing in the gray mist, the distance lost in fog.
We don’t get do-overs in life. We wake up and, boom, there we are. The past is the past, and now is now. No wonder I feel as discombobulated as I do at times. Mindfulness at least lets me know: You are here, and it is now.

brain tired

My brain doesn’t hate me. It’s not trying to ruin my life. It was just built wrong. Here’s one example of how broken it is. Yesterday, Apple announced their new Vision Pro VR headset. It’s a cool tech and very…


As a kid, my anxiety led to anger, and I had no way to deal with it. Instead, a habit of anger developed and grew deep roots. This is not something I want to continue; it’s a sucky way to live.


bucko as a sophomore in high school
My anxiety learned far too well from human evolution. This is where the great value of mental health care and mindfulness practice is seen for me.

warning signs

The greatest threat to my daily mental healthiness has always been falling prey to whatever my emotions or thoughs were. Depression had no trouble taking over when I was clueless about the warning signs. This is no longer the case.

calm the eff down

I love sports – football/soccer, baseball, cricket, running – but being a fan can be hard on my mental health. Anger, frustration, disappointment and just the occasional championship; it’s hard to maintain equanimity in this way.


1965. Daddy and me with packs, matching black cowboy hats, backpacks, getting ready to hike to Half Dome in Yosemite Park.
Like most of the world, I was ignorant of my mental health challenges for most of my life. That changed thanks to the VA, and I have been left with an important realization about my life.


I felt a lightness inside yesterday that had nothing to do with getting up early to go to work for the sixth time in seven days. I didn’t even realize I was feeling this way until I got to the…


Blame isn’t worth a lot, but there is a place I can start with blaming others and know it’s true: as a child, a toddler. After all, at that age, I was in the care of other people who had…

i’ve always hated normal

The title of this post pretty much sums up my life. Well, it would if I’d been able to live my life both non-normally and productively. Given that I’ve been unable to do with my life what I’d have like…